Getting Lucky
by Veltrops
Summary: Celes had always found people with less than average luck to be rather pitiable. Still, it wouldn't do to have to get Oowada assassinated. Celes/Mondo/Chihiro, Pre-despair.


I think I've read one fic where Oowada is straight, which is strange since I'm pretty sure he says in the game that he likes girls (albeit indirectly).

Then again, the Ishida/Aniki thing does make you wonder. And he's walking the line in this anyway.

* * *

Celestia had a habit of ranking people based upon their luck. There was no particular reason why she chose to do so; perhaps it just came naturally to the gambler. Of course, it wasn't always an exciting task, as the vast majority of people she encountered were rank D, but she did get a kick out of labeling everyone else as inferior to her.

There was no outlined system for her judgments, and thus they were not set in stone; each person's rank would change as she got to know them. For example, a decidedly B-rank Byakuya Togami was smugly changed to a D when she realised he was being stalked by the D-ranked Touko Fukawa. On the other hand, D-ranked Makoto Naegi managed to change his rank to C after managing to land himself in a love triangle between D-ranked Sayaka Maizono and D-ranked Kyouko Kirigiri (who knows what kind of ridiculous circumstances caused that to happen, though - she personally found Naegi to be exceptionally bland).

Red eyes carelessly scanned her classmates, paying the teacher absolutely no attention (she would luck out the test anyway). The twins, who curiously did not share the same luck ranking, she did find reasonably pleasant despite their luck rankings. C-ranked Junko Enoshima was perhaps the only person she felt a connection with (she had rethought her similarities with Maizono after the whole Naegi thing) even if it was merely over fashion, and D-ranked Mukuro Ikusaba was pleasant enough.

She had nearly given the D-ranked Yasuhiro Hagakure a B-rank just for holding a Super High School Level despite being so stupid, but she had quickly rethought it because he was so prone to getting his things broken all the time and besides, he had such an unfortunate name (and really, of all the men in the world she did not want him to become the only B-rank).

Chihiro Fujisaki, the programmer, was somewhat of a special case. While he had done quite terribly in the genetic lottery, it was thus far a miracle that his secret was yet to get out. In the end, though, she settled on a D-rank, deciding that his good and bad fortune cancelled each other out.

Rank-D Sakura Oogami was placed there if only because she had become inevitably lumped with fellow Rank-D Aoi Asahina through the similarities of their specialities. Granted, the fighter didn't seem to mind the swimmer's company, but the gambler personally found her to be rather difficult (for the record, donuts were _not_ appropriate foods to dine with tea).

Kiyotaka Ishimaru was, against all odds, C-ranked. Celes had seriously considered him a D-rank right from the first impression, but she had conceded when she realised that it was nothing short of a miracle that no one hated him. His excessive and overly rigorous assertion of the rules grated on even Oogami, and it took a lot to annoy her; why somebody as short tempered as Togami or Oowada hadn't shanked him by now was a mystery.

She was tempted to give D-ranked Hifumi Yamada a C-rank just because if he hadn't been enrolled in Hope's Peak, she sincerely doubted he would have any friends at all, but she knew that he really didn't have much going for him in the luck department. What she did consider lucky, however, was all the 3D girls in the world who were not subject to his imagination.

Leon Kuwata was an easy D-rank, his career ambitions and style preferences overshadowed by his own talent. She had heard the story far too many times for her liking and while she had felt a little sorry for him at first, the effect was exponentially diminished upon subsequent retellings.

In summary, the majority of her classmates fell into either rank C or D - both particularly uninteresting, although C mildly less so. However, there was one case which did intrigue her the tiniest bit...

This last case being, of course, that of Mondo Oowada. He was a curious case who, whilst hilariously managing to score an E-ranking, left the gambler slightly mystified as to how he managed to attain his title of Super High School Level Gang Leader with such horrible luck. An E-rank was utterly shocking (although, thankfully not shocking enough to warrant an assassination order). In fact, with that level of luck she would not have been surprised if he had accidentally killed someone by now. Clearly, there was more to being a gang leader than mere luck...

Heh heh heh. What a pitiful existence.

Celes lazily rested her head against one delicate hand as she observed the boy - man? - sitting in front of her. As luck would have it, the gang leader's build was bulky enough to mostly screen her from the teacher's view, although perhaps moreso if he sat up straight for once. Thankfully, she couldn't see his ridiculous hair (which _must _have been a result of his E-ranked luck because really, if someone were to accidentally slip with some garden shears they would be doing him a favour), but she could imagine it drooping down with the emotions he was probably feeling.

Oowada was not heartless - far from it, although being the emotionally stunted man he was, he was failing rather spectacularly at keeping things under control. Just hours ago, Celestia had been a silent witness to a decidedly private sight (S-ranked luck was _glorious_, a ranking she had made up entirely for herself) between the gang leader and the shy programmer.

Fujisaki's secret was well known among the girls - the very nature of it meant during gender segregation they were bound to find out sooner or later - but as of yet it remained a complete mystery amongst the boys. He had been in tears when they found him out and begged them with all his worth to keep it a secret, to which they had all immediately agreed to because none of them possessed the willpower to say no to him while he was pulling that face.

At any rate, Oowada had evidently become rather fond of the programmer, if the volume of his voice was any indication (she had learned all about the man and his tendency to yell when nervous after she had, by chance, stumbled across a drunk and disoriented Naegi... but that was a story for another time). To crush on the one person whose gender was not as it seemed was surely the curse of E-ranked luck.

What she had witnessed was supposed to resemble a confession, presumably, although given the circumstances it looked much more like bullying than anything else, as Oowada was essentially yelling and poor Fujisaki looked awfully upset. Predictably, the whole thing ended in utter failure and resulted in the programmer nearly in tears while the gang leader skipped school for the rest of the day.

...No, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he _would have_ skipped if Kiyotaka Ishimaru had no say in it. In the stereotypical hard headed, male fashion, the hall monitor had physically dragged the gang leader off his bike and back into the classroom. Celes had been surprised, expecting Oowada's strength to at least match Ishimaru's, but evidently his passion for an ideal school environment outweighed the other man's emotions.

So far, they had managed to sit through 2 periods which had wholly consisted of Fujisaki and Oowada sitting in a terse silence and paying no attention whatsoever to the classes being taught. Not that a huge number of students paid attention anyway; Togami and Fukawa, at least, made quite a spectacle of not paying attention, although the rest - including but certainly not limited to people such as Maizono and Asahina - were somewhat more covert at it.

The whole situation was rather pitiable, actually. Oowada was probably feeling terrible about yelling at a girl, _again_, while Fujisaki was probably panicking about what to tell the gang leader. People with bad fortune really were just one giant train wreck, weren't they?

Well, she was feeling rather generous today... and rather bored. Perhaps, she'd have a look and see what could be done. Knowing E-ranked luck, they were certainly going to need it.

* * *

As luck would have it, though, the wheels of fate turned before she got the chance to intervene.

During one of their breaks, she had been in the middle of polite conversation with Oogami and Kirigiri when, for the second time that day, she overheard Oowada's raised voice... although, in a decidedly different tone this time. Aggressive, instead of nervous, which was surely not a good sign.

With only a silent look of confusion passing between the three of them, the detective, the fighter and the gambler abandoned their conversation and quickly moved to the source of the sound, only to find a sobbing programmer and the gang leader nowhere in sight.

It took the three of them at least an hour to coax a retelling of events from the tearful boy, and that was after they recruited Fukawa and Asahina to help (although in hindsight, bringing out Fukawa was a terrible move and she probably only stuck around to avoid going to class). As it turned out, Fujisaki decided he didn't want to string the gang leader along, and had somehow come to the conclusion that revealing his true gender was a good idea. However, Oowada had _not_ taken it well. Then again, he hadn't actually physically hurt the programmer or anything of the sort, so perhaps it could be considered a good reaction.

After a further half hour of consoling him and quiet discussion about what to do, they collectively decided not to intervene and escorted Fujisaki back to class, despite the day nearly being over. Celes, however, had lied about not intervening and went off to check whether the gang leader was still within the school grounds under the guise of returning to her locker to retrieve forgotten books.

By a stroke of luck, she found him hunched moodily over a bench within one of the deserted school courtyards, out of sight of any passing students who were heading between classes. She was genuinely surprised, expecting him to have left the school by now; Ishimaru was probably busy this time around, but perhaps he didn't want to chance it with his bad luck.

Evidently, the reveal had bothered him significantly, but perhaps not enough to completely deter him. She could see where he was coming from; even with the knowledge of Fujisaki's true gender, even now she would occasionally accidentally consider him female. He made for a highly convincing girl (and pulled off cute better than Maizono did... although he did not particularly enjoy being told that, especially when it was from the idol herself).

Celes sat down diagonally away from him, nonchalantly smoothing out her already perfect outfit. She did not miss the way he tensed as she sat, not expecting - or wanting, probably - company.

"Good afternoon, Oowada."

He grunted in response, obviously not in the mood for conversation. Trying to do so was probably a futile effort at this point, so she contented herself with idly playing with her hair and watching Oowada's thoughts churn within his head.

The silence stretched out as the gambler watched him try and think his feelings out with obvious little success. She wondered why he wasn't out riding his bike - it was a practice she herself found barbaric, but the gang leader probably found it therapeutic. Minutes later, she began to grow bored; perhaps provoking a reaction was in order.

"Love transcends gender, you know." In hindsight, it was probably a bad move to pull something so ridiculously sappy out of the blue, but as always her luck never failed to turn any situation around.

The gang leader took a moment to process what she had said before abruptly slamming his fists into the table, swearing loudly.

"Shit... FUCK!" He gripped his head in his hands, growling. "This is so fucked up!"

Interest renewed, Celestia tilted her head in curiosity. It bemused her that the gang leader probably did not realise how ridiculously easy he was to read. He would do well to never pick up gambling. "Shall we discuss it...?"

"Fuck off." He spat, shooting her a nasty look but otherwise remaining stationary.

Hmf. Even in such a state, he was still ever the alpha male, even though his words were far too crude to say to a girl. She would have to blackmail him for it later.

For the time being, however, she figured it wise to not provoke him further, although the pull of curiosity did not let her walk away just yet. Surely, there was some reason why he was still hanging around in the school area... but as to why, she as of yet had no idea. Neither of them deigned to move as the bell for the end of the day rang.

At least ten minutes later, just as she was considering leaving for some tea, Oowada's head jerked up at the sound of a door opening, and Celestia turned around to see a very small looking Fujisaki shuffling dejectedly towards the school gates.

Heh heh heh. They were in luck, it seemed.

The gambler smiled pleasantly at the gang leader who, in an entirely unexpected understanding of her unworded realisation, angrily scowled back, his face flushing in his discomfort. Moments passed, however, and it seemed that he did not plan to do anything. That would have to change.

Standing, Celes nodded politely. "I shall take my leave, then. Goodbye, Oowada."

She heard him swear quietly as she headed in the programmer's direction, obviously expecting her to do something horrible. After being subject to his colourful vocabulary it was tempting, but she was feeling especially generous today. And the E-ranker was just so pitiful it was painful to watch.

"Good afternoon, Fujisaki. Are you heading somewhere?"

"Ah!" Lost in his thoughts and not anticipating her approach, Chihiro started at her words. "Good afternoon, Celes. I was just... Um..." He trailed off, looking down.

"Would you like to have some tea with me? Enoshima is busy, unfortunately, and I much prefer having company." What a lie. Although, she would consider it if Junko learned to appreciate tea; coffee was such an uncultured drink.

"Oh... Yes, I would like that." Apparently deciding to forget his problems for the time being, he smiled at the gambler. "I'm happy you asked me... I don't get to spend much time with you, Celes."

She almost laughed. Poor Fujisaki was so naive (although, tea with the programmer didn't sound so bad. Maybe when this ridiculous love nonsense was over). They had taken a few steps forwards before the gambler stopped. "Oh, please excuse me... I must return to my locker. I seem to have forgotten my money."

"Of course!" The programmer replied happily, looking for a seat and freezing up when he laid eyes on Oowada. "Um... Could I come-"

Celes smiled to herself, pretending not to notice. "Please, wait here for me. I won't be long."

She gracefully turned and headed off, expertly avoiding any further conversation. It was potentially a bad move, cornering them into talking to each other, but she did always enjoy taking gambles (winning all the time had something to do with it). Her natural luck always meant things went the way she wanted them to.

Then again, this was E-ranked Oowada.

...

...

...

No, surely he would do better this time. He had adequate time to prepare, and much rested on the ongoing conversation: after all, if he managed to pull it off, she'd consider graduating him to rank D.

But, when she heard Oowada's raised voice _again_, she actually let out an exasperated sigh. So much for having faith in him; she should have known better than to think the E-ranked luck could pull off such a delicate situation. It seemed that repeatedly bashing his head against obstacles was the only method of problem solving available to the gang leader.

Perhaps it was time to abandon ship.

* * *

She had made it as far as her locker before deciding she wanted to see what kind of damage had been done. And so, yet again Celestia Ludenberg found herself sitting across from a man who was, for once, far more emotional than she would have liked. Emotions were easy to manipulate and predictable, but she wasn't enjoying prodding him as much as she thought she would and was beginning to wonder whether this was really her good luck.

The other option of course was that it was Oowada's bad luck, but she refused to believe that his luck was somehow overcoming hers. After all, that could only conceivably be achieved by an F rank; her classmates had grown on her somewhat, and it would be such a shame to have to have them assassinated.

Observing the glum man slumped ungracefully on the table, she wondered why he was attracted to Fujisaki. Sure, he was cute, but she would have thought that someone like Oowada would be more likely to go for the cool detective, Kirigiri, or even Celes herself. That, or the cleavage of the confident model, Enoshima.

...Hm. On second thoughts, that was forbidden territory, even for Oowada. Ikusaba would probably stab anyone who tried to touch her sister in the face, repeatedly, and without asking questions.

"That makes it three times in one day, E-ranked Oowada. I must admit, even with your luck, I am rather impressed."

"..."

"What did you do this time?"

"...I don't want to talk about it..."

Ah, yes, the eternal plight of males. Annoying. Perhaps a different approach was in order.

"I think you may have traumatised Fujisaki. He looked quite upset."

"Seriously? ...Fuck me." Or not. Did she just make it worse? Either way, her patience was already beginning to wear.

"I know you're on the rebound, but that is very forward and exceptionally disgusting." The dirty look she received told her that her dry humor was not appreciated. Barbarian.

They lapsed into a short silence until suddenly, he spoke up. "C'mon, you're a girl... don't you have any advice or something?"

Wasn't he supposed to find it hard to talk to girls? He was being unexpectedly informal. Apparently, the whole Fujisaki thing was bigger than she realised. "Hmf. Since you asked so nicely... No, I don't seem to recall any, at the moment. Maybe, if I were to have a cup of tea, it would help jog my memory...?"

Scowling, he sifted through his pockets quickly before setting down some coins. She smiled. He really was desperate, wasn't he?

"My, Oowada... perhaps your eyesight is failing. That doesn't look like tea."

"Buy it yourself." He grumbled sullenly, obviously not wanting to have to wait any longer than he had to. "Are you gonna tell me or what?"

She didn't actually have any, so she quickly made something up on the spot. "...Fine. Fujisaki is a male, as you now know, so talk to him like one. Of course, it's hardly ideal, but anything short of yelling again is an improvement at this point. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah..." He scratched the back of his neck bashfully, then paused. "Wait a sec. How'd you know about the yelling... thing?"

Ah, a chance to generate more entertainment for herself. By now, their entire class was probably aware of it, but Celestia was not known as the 'Queen of Liars' for nothing. "Heh heh heh. You ought to speak to Naegi about that."

"Wha- That bastard-! I told him not to tell anyone! I'll pound him into dust!" The gang leader seethed, cracking his knuckles.

Celes was vaguely aware that by giving him such poorly thought through advice, and with no practice, she was potentially dooming any chance the E-ranker had with the programmer. She didn't know what Fujisaki's current mental state was, but if he ended up being brought to tears for a fourth time in the same day by exactly the same person, he could certainly end up being traumatised.

As she waited for him to finish swearing and promising Naegi a painful beating, she started counting the money he had placed down. Hm...

"...By the way, that's not enough money." At least it meant he got his money's worth in advice.

"Eh? How much does it cost?"

"About double what you just put down. If you would like to hear more..." Ah, extortion. Maybe meeting Oowada was good luck after all.

"Whatever. Forget it. I'll ask someone else."

"Was my advice not good enough for you?" She kept her voice innocuous, but she felt rather irritated at the prospect. Sure, it was bad advice, but it was still her advice.

"You made me pay for it!" So, there was some measure of intelligence under that ridiculous hair.

"Of course. It is rather exceptional advice."

"...Actually, it is pretty good. I never thought of it that way." The gang leader became progressively more excited as he continued to consider her words. "Yeah... Thanks, Celes!"

Maybe she should extort others more often. "Heh. You're welcome."

Still, she felt some measure of... something, watching him talk animatedly. Even if he thought it was good, she knew that it was horribly cliche and probably unlikely to work. Even as he stood up to leave, she wondered if it was really alright to send him off as he was.

In the end, though, against her better judgment she found herself calling out to the gang leader. "By the way, Oowada, if things don't work out with Fujisaki, you're welcome to become one of my knights."

"...Huh? What?" Hmf. Elegant as ever.

"One of my menservants. I have many all over the world who are all loyal to me, so you should be honoured to be offered the chance to join their ranks. Of course, we'd have to do something about your E ranked luck, but I'm sure you're not a total lost cause." Honestly, she wasn't entirely sure whether she was seriously suggesting it or just throwing him a bone. He was certainly not as aristocratic as she preferred, but it would at least provide an artistic contrast.

Also, the image of the powerful gang leader bowing to her every whim was admittedly highly entertaining.

Oowada looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, he scratched his head and looked away awkwardly.

"Uh... thanks, Celes. I guess."

"Heh heh. You really don't know how to speak to girls, do you?" She repressed laughter at his self conscious scowl. "Goodbye, Oowada... and good luck. Of course, you can't actually give another person luck, but you're going to need it. Do try not to make it four times in one day."

For a moment, the gang leader looked at loss for words, but then he broke into light laughter and give her a bright smile which the gambler found herself returning.

Stepping forwards, he ruffled her hair playfully (a bold move, earning him a uncharacteristic scowl and painful bruise), and after thanking her one last time, headed off in search of the programmer.

Celestia spent a moment watching him leave, before turning around herself to find a nearby tea shop. She idly wondered how it was going to go; she wasn't much of a coach, so it could easily end the same way it had before. Between her luck and his, there was no telling which way it could go. It was rather exciting, actually.

Quickening her steps, she allowed a smile to grace her face as she found herself looking forward to the following day.

* * *

Did you see the foreshadowing?


End file.
